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Pretty H8 Machines victorious in season opener

While Arizona State was wrapping up a rout of the Fighting Illini’s football team, the Desert Dolls Roller Derby had an exciting season debut against two former champions. The Cosmic Killas were looking to defend their 2011-12 championship on Saturday night, but they were no match against the Pretty H8 Machines. The H8 Machines left it all on the track with a 124-97 bruising victory.

The Machines helped their case before halftime by racking up a sizeable lead and never looked back. In fact, the second jam of the bout was a five-point grand slam for the H8 Machines. The Machines showed no sign of fatigue in the second half and rookie Little J Felony won the inaugural MVP award for the DDRD. It was only Felony’s third-ever bout and she showcased her talents by weaving through blockers and even completing a grand slam jam against the Killas.

The Killas pulled within 15 points of the lead with around 20 minutes remaining in the second half, but Felony, Twisted Burdy and Em-Jay kept their legs fresh and powered the Machines to a decisive victory. Both teams skated hard and captain Dagger Dallas and Sin a Bare had the majority of the Cosmic Killas’ jams. The Killas had a physical strategy and were not afraid to lay the hammer down with their blocking. Daisy De La Whorya, Rozey Rough Ryder and Hollywood Knockout were the leaders of the physical game for the Cosmic Killas and the others follwed suit.

Late in the second half, Pretty H8 Machines’ captain Evol Starr suffered a right knee injury and was assisted off the track with help by the EMTs on call. Following the bout, her knee was iced and wrapped up and she will more than likely miss her next appearance if the injury is worse than a mild sprain. Starr also passed on her captaincy duty to former co-captain Missy Faytal.

The next bout for the Desert Dolls Roller Derby will be on October 6 when the Pretty H8 Machines take on the Shotgun Shirleys. The bout starts at 7 PM in the Castle Sports Club in Phoenix.

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Nick Marek

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