Categories: Arizona StateArticleColumns

It’s time, to update the update

The “new” Sparky is now considered retro as ASU announced Tuesday that they will yet again redesign ASU’s mascot, but this time with fan input.

Sparky got a facelift on March 1st of this year. Apparently there was some malpractice involved as Sparky came back far less child friendly and ugly. ASU fans and alumni rose up with disdain for the new design, and apparently whining pays off.

ASU released a statement Tuesday outlining their plan to let fans “build Sparky”. “Sparky is one of the best-loved mascots in collegiate athletics. The university is proud that so many people are passionate about him,” said Rocky Harris, senior associate athletic director for external relations. ASU is creating an online program that will allow fans and alumni to pick the features of the new sparky. The release says these features include the color of the horns, size and shape of the eyes and the prominence of Sparky’s chin. Once these features are selected the university may show three to five Sparky’s for the fans to pick from.

Since us students are in the Sparky building business, I figured I would throw some features out there that I would like to see appear on the new, new Sparky.

First off, he should have a fedora. Classy men wear fedoras. Sparky is classy. That is all.

Second, I would like Sparky to have a monocle. The original Sparky has OK eyes, but nothing I would like to get lost in. The “new” Sparky looked like he was shocked constantly with his huge eyes. Let’s find a healthy medium with the new, new Sparky and take it to the next level by adding some eyewear. Besides, name another mascot that has a monocle.

Third, I want Sparky to grin, not smile. Both original and “new” Sparky had big smiles. How about an imposing Sparky? I want the new, new Sparky to have a sly grin, one that says, “Yes I’m happy,” but “Hey, I might be up to something”.

Fourth, Sparky should be maroon again. ASU’s colors are still maroon and gold, and that is how Sparky should be.

Finally, keep the mustache and goatee. Facial hair is a must.

Voting opens April 22nd and goes until May 5th. The new, new Sparky will be unveiled at ASU’s first football game on September 5th.

While some of my ideas are just for fun, The ASU community should take this process seriously. Whining, complaining and threatening paid off, now the pitchfork’s in your court.